The storms in my life…

What to do when the whole world and everything around you suddenly stops making sense? I have recently asked myself this question and with much spiritual reading and reflection (because that is all I could do) I found the answer. STOP!!!! Yes just that one word, STOP!!!

When the world seems to be turning upside down, you cannot go in forward motion and be turned with it. STOP and turn in the opposite direction. I was going through all sorts of emotional upheavals known to man: family conflict, loss of a dream, relationship turning sour, source of income and livelihood threatened. And I thought let me keep going, one day at a time. Until I realized I was falling in a downward spiral with my world, I was going down with it. When I made a decision to STOP I found myself watching from the outside, looking in and seeing my world fall apart. But I did not fall apart with it, I remained.

Someone reading this might think I found a miraculous solution to my problems. No I did not. I just stopped doing everything I was doing. I stopped worrying, I stopped chasing, I stopped wishing, I just stopped and surrendered and started walking in a different direction. Away from the rubble of broken dreams, away from the disappointment of false promises, away from the threatening destruction. Walking away symbolized a surrender to the Supreme Being, a surrender to DESTINY, and knowing that I cannot really change anything that is already predestined to be.

When I changed direction I had nothing else to focus on but the new, unknown path that I am now walking in. It becomes exciting because I am discovering new things about myself and the new sorroundings. See this is all happening in my mind, I am trying to maneuver in new roads until I find one that takes me to where I want to be.  I am renewed in my thinking hence I am renewing my life. So the old world has fallen away and all my focus is on building a new world for myself. Having something to look forward to brings purpose back into my life. It took everything falling apart for me to realize I should not hold on to the past, I should not hold on to what is falling away.  I let it go because that’s the only way change can come.

Maybe this is just me trying to think positive, but it is working. Take what you will from my experience, you may find yourself smiling in the middle of chaos.

Image : stormy, grey night

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