Month: December 2015

Can men and women be genuine friends?

I know many people do not believe that a male and a female can be friends. A lot of my friends are male, in fact, most of my closest friends are male and from my side it is purely platonic. All this time I was a firm believer in that a male and female can actually have a fulfilling friendship without the drama that female friends usually bring. But sadly, that illusion has been shattered for me…irreparably considering how I am feeling about it at the moment.

FOT-1023010 - © - Epoxydude
 photo from

I heard so many times that when you are friends with a guy, he obviously has feelings for you (the female). And sometimes you have feelings for each other but you both decide you are better off as friends…which sometimes makes for very good, long lasting friendships. And then there are those who have unrequited feelings (he told you how he felt but you decided you are not attracted to him like that and you offer him your friendship instead). These ones are the hardest to deal with because those feelings will not be going anywhere.

There are lots of different scenarios for the friendship between male and female. But back to my story…I once believed that there could be genuine friendship between males and females. But when you have a friend who is constantly trying to blur the friendship line and constantly trying to cross the line that is no longer a healthy friendship. I am brutally honest usually when I am dealing with people close to me and when I feel like my friendship is being taken for granted I lose it. I don’t like people who pretend or fake friendship. I would much rather have someone who says goodbye to me if being friends with me is going to be problematic than to constantly have a “so called friend” make unwanted moves, especially under the influence of alcohol. Call it liquid courage but I think its plain STUPID.

I don’t know after how many attempts can one call the friendship quits but once, twice, three times…nah son!!That friendship is way too complicated, if anyone needed that drama they would just get into a relationship.



Why I am a feminist…


For me, feminism is about justice. I’m a feminist because I want to live in a world that is more just. I’m a feminist because I want to live in a world where a woman is never told that she can or cannot—or should or should not—do anything because she’s a woman. I want to live in a world where men and women are happier, where they’re not constrained by gender roles. I want to live in a world where men and women are truly equal, and that’s why I’m a feminist.  Chimamanda Ngozi Adichiecropped-img_20140905_212111.jpg 

I found this so inspiring and thought to share…

Goodbye ‘Yesterbae’

The past has been calling me in the past couple of weeks. I am struggling to come to terms with what it all means…Does it mean I am standing in one place so my past is able to catch up with me? Or it just means that I have lots of ties with my past that I never bothered to cut? The psychological implications of all this are just too deep and I will need time to reflect and come up with the answer.

Whichever it is, I am feeling uneasy about the constant barrage of “Hellos” coming from yester-years. The sound of that phone call from the past is ringing so loud it is blurring my focus. I am wondering if it is me who has issues letting go of the past and moving on or there are things I have to face that I thought were buried in the past. If a pattern has been observed that shows a string of past encounters that are left unresolved and not concluded and keep coming back, surely that is a recipe for distress. How do others deal with this? 

I came across an interesting word/phrase whilst I was reading blogs and articles on the internet:

yesterbae – According to Urban Dictionary this means someone you used to like. It is used as ” that guy is so yesterbae”…LOL. So, i’m not throwing any shade here but this sounds a lot like what I am currently dealing with. I wish I did not have to deal with yesterbaes. I don’t want to live in the past and I do not wish to revisit my past because there is  a reason why it is the past. We all have choices to make in life and I have just made mine.

I want to say “Hello” to new things and I refuse to pick up the call from my past. Its just too much…when-past-comes-calling