Is it ever possible to live in a world in which a “beautiful” woman can also be regarded as smart, wise and intelligent? I mean, can they ever see past her sex appeal Definition …….to experience the depths she possesses? Is it that once you see her physical beauty, that is all you can focus on?
Is it always that the “beautiful” woman has to live in a world in which men see her and immediately think of sex? That it is largely acceptable because we are just basic creatures acting upon instinct. “Men are visual creatures” …but this is not just a post for men. Women are just as guilty of treating other women as nothing other than physical objects.
I wonder if there are any people left in this world who can see past the physical; who yearn to dance with the mind and soul of a beautiful woman; beautiful both inside and out…People who find beauty in the intelligence and morality of a woman and not just her shell… People who are not intimidated by an intelligent and moral woman but instead are pulled even closer.
For I know she is tired of being defined by her physical beauty. She is so much more than that. As India Irie sang “I am not my hair, I am not my skin, I am not your expectations…” Watch Video
If you are out there and you have any courage to seek a deeper connection, there are still people like us who dare to look beyond the obvious. Delve deeper and ditch the norm.
It’s not often that we take the time to fall in love with ourselves. We are so caught up in loving others and often neglect ourselves. As I was enjoying a cup of coffee yesterday it suddenly dawned on me that I do love myself and I fall deeper and deeper in love with ME every day. In the spirit of Women’s Month, I have decided to embrace my womanhood with a dedication to myself (I don’t need an excuse really…).
One of my closest friends recently described me as “phenomenal” (swoon) and I decided to write up some of the things that help to mould me into the woman I am and why I fall in love with myself everyday:
#I am extremely unapologetic about who I am
What you see is what you get!! I do not make apologies for who I am, how I look, how I talk or dress!! Fortunately or unfortunately, its either you like me or you don’t. I have found there is no grey area there. If you are one of those people still trying to decide how you feel about me, I hope this article helps.
#I accept that I am crazy
This may be an understatement but since I am the one writing this, please allow. I have my moments of utter madness and silliness and I love that about myself (I think everyone does, but it happens to some more often and in different degrees). If you have never seen this side of me you are in luck. On the flipside, you might be missing out because that means you only get to see my serious side, which can be quite intimidating. I have been told I cannot dance, but I dance anyway. I accept and love myself, flaws and all!!!
#I constantly forgive myself
Living with guilt erodes the spirit. I have made many mistakes in my adult life and I cannot say I am done messing up, but I have learnt to let go of the guilt or bad feelings that come with that. I have hurt some people and I am not proud of that. I have a fiery temper that gets me into trouble more times than is necessary, I am a work in progress!! Although I hope those that I hurt have forgiven me; I am not worried because between me and God, all is well in my soul. Self-loathing is a powerful thing and it keeps us from loving ourselves. I have learnt to forgive myself constantly, no matter how bad it gets.
#I dream big and I chase those dreams like a madman
I am very ambitious and nothing can stop me once I put my mind to something. This has led me to cross boundaries and challenge norms. I don’t hear NO and I don’t accept failure. I love this about myself because I would not be where I am without the drive that moves me and helps me get out of bed in the morning. Success does not come from sitting idly waiting for opportunities to come by. I look for opportunities and with my God by my side, I have done many things. I believe there is still more to be explored…watch this space!!
#I embrace that I am a 30 year old, unmarried woman with no kids
Contrary to popular belief in Zimbabwean culture, this does not make me less than “normal” or make me love myself any less. I embrace this stage of my life and my perception is that it is time to work on myself whilst I wait for future hubby. I do not succumb to the pressure to get married because I am not one for conformity, plus where is the eager hubby? I will get married (I promise) if and when I am ready, not because “everyone else my age is already married or at least have a child”. It is amazing how many times attempts have been made to make me feel less loveable than I am just because I am not yet married. In the small town where I am currently some have even added that “no one wants to marry an educated woman”. I mean *insert side eye*…in 2016?
#I take time to reflect on myself
Some people are scared to be alone with their thoughts. I am not. I love the fact that I can be alone as this is when I shut everything out and reflect on my actions, words and ponder on where I am going. This has helped me to assess where I go wrong and what I would not want to repeat in future. Everyday is a new opportunity to begin again and what I did or how I thought yesterday may be used in a positive way. My moments of reflection shape my confidence in my abilities and increases my self-love.
Last but not least…
#My relationship with God
God is love and he is my Father. I have not known a greater love than this. Once you know God, you cannot help but love yourself the way Father loves you!!!
Have you learnt to love yourself? Because no one else will love you if you don’t!!