When did I become the voice of reason?

I always marvel when I find myself as someone’s voice of reason, when I think that  someone out there looks up to and appreciates the advice of little old me. My oldest sister and the first born in our family called me earlier to discuss some ideas that she has about her life. After that call I could not stop grinning, thinking I have helped her find a way through a confusing maze of ideas. That is when I realised I have become a voice of wisdom on some particular topics over the years. Here’s why:

  • I absolutely love to brainstorm. My close friend and fellow graduate student Uchechi and I often have brainstorming sessions about a wide variety of topics. It is just something we have become accustomed to doing and we have found that it is really helpful. So I can help someone come up with a plan about something they are thinking about just by putting down all the possible options and discussing them until there is evidence that everything has been exhausted. It is a skill people.



  • I am a plannerI was always that one child in my family who knew what she wanted to do with her life from a very early age. I wrote down all my ideas and plans in journals since I was younger than 12 years old. Well, back then they were different sizes of notebooks that I would stress my mother to buy for me, but now I invest in proper journals that can last me for years. I have also been so blunt as to hint to my friends or partners when I need a new journal as a gift, and it is always a good gift for someone like me. So, because my family members know that I plan everything and write it down, they trust me to help come up with a plan, which is why I have suddenly become the “voice of reason”.


My journal (2013-2018)


  • I am overly practical. This makes me more rational than emotional when it comes to making decisions. People close to me dislike this particular character trait of mine because instead of listening to them moan for hours about something, I would rather prefer to get straight to the solution. We have a problem, great now what are we going to do about it? is my usual response to most problems my friends and family have. Sounds familiar guys? Because I believe males usually apply this practical, solution-oriented quality to their problem-solving more than females do.

Now, all the above make me sound like I am the most organised, well put-together woman on the internet today, LOL. But, the truth is, I cannot, for the life of me, figure out my own problems all by myself. I wrote about that here You cannot heal thyself….. some years ago. I also need others to help me sift through the jumbled mess in my head on occasion and I do seek out my friends when I am in need. Just today, I called my friend Uchechi to rant about the statistical analysis that is doing my head in. Thank goodness I have friends and a very good social circle for moments like that.  But, at this moment right now, I am celebrating being someone’s voice of reason for a change. Thank God for small mercies right? When I am deep in the throngs of my own troubles, I sometimes forget that there are people who call me for relationship advice, career advice and life advice, even when I don’t always have it all figured out. I can never stop surprising myself, in a good way of course.

As this is not a self-promotion post, here is the message (finally)

Sometimes we doubt ourselves and ask ourselves what value we add to the people around us. We question whether we are useful, whether we are making an impact in the world. Well, I challenge you today to look around you and see what small things make you a valuable friend, sister, brother, tutor, whatever your title is. You are doing something in your own small way to make a difference in someone’s life. Sometimes our value is tied to the things we take for granted. I found mine and it totally shifted my mood. Let me know how it works for you. 




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