When we are going through some sort of pain, it is tempting to think that we are the only ones going through it. As for me, when I go through stuff, I feel like the world is ending and I am the only one whose life is ending with it. My painful moments are always catastrophic, huge earth-shattering events (in my mind of course). When I go through stuff, I always think that I am the only one who will ever go through it and that my problems are the worst in the history of mankind. Generally cannot deal with my emotions, to be honest…
I made a new friend just recently and as we have gotten to know each other, we started swapping stories about where we come from, our countries of origin (we are not from the same country) and general things about our families and past relationships. What really struck me was just how much the statement that we are all going through some sort of pain really rings true. The other day, we were having a general discussion about our family members and it is really funny how every family has that one sore thumb, that one black sheep and that one issue that they are constantly dealing with.
I will give an example of African families because they are the ones I have experienced. You often hear stories of generational curses such as poverty, that follow the whole family line. Every family seems to also have that broken marriage, that in-law relationship that just never worked out, that aunty that can never keep a husband, that witchcraft accusation, the illness in the family, the story of the family member who never made it and is a burden to everyone else in the family, the rags to riches story or the riches to rags story, the wealthy uncle who somehow never parts with his money to help others……the list is endless.
The common trend is that there is a story of pain in every family. I have come to realise that pain and trouble are indeed universal human experiences. For instance, the pain of absent fathers in South Africa is felt in the USA too.
In trying to find a common ground as human beings, I feel most times, our pain brings us together, unifies us in a way. As women, when we talk about heartbreak, it is almost as if we have dated the same guy. The stories sound so relatable, don’t they? I wonder if there is a way to use our universal pain as people, whatever it may be, to be kinder and more compassionate to one another. Food for thought.
Day 8 BlogTember Challenge