In May this year, I came across a tweet that answered a question I have always had about ex-boyfriends. I always used to wonder why they always come back into your life after some time, some after very long periods, some not so long. The answer was so simple but profound:
I have had the
misfortune of having exes that stay in my life for a very long time, some I even call friends. They are not many, but I always try to be civil with people I used to care about unless they really did something to make me not want to ever see or speak to them again. It got so bad that my mother even noticed that I continued to mention names of people that should have been long gone from my life and she never understands why I entertain them. She would always say haudi kusiyana nemaex wakaitwa sei?” loosely translated to “you don’t want to let go of your exes, what is wrong with you?”
I don’t usually keep around any man that I know is still trying to convince me to take him back. The
very few who are still my friends are there because there were no hard feelings between us, the break-up was mutual and it was never that deep. Sometimes people realise that they are better off as friends and they don’t have to hate each other. But, it is important to keep the conversations away from anything flirtatious or indecent in any way because that would be seen as crossing the line. I always have rules of engagement when it comes to such matters.
Then there is that one ex who just keeps finding you after months or years without talking. It’s like when they ghost they are in a relationship and all is well in their world, then when they are single again, they start thinking “wonder where she is or what she is up to now”? Even if they are blocked on your phone, they can send a random email or message on another random app, LOL. Stalker alert!!!
This type of “ex” is the one I am worried about. He just tries to sneak back into your life especially around the time when you have just found some balance, you are busy loving yourself and enjoying your glow-up. Then BAM, hey stranger (insert silly emoji)…Argh!!! Why do they always come back? What do they want? You start to ask yourself so many questions and start to relive the whole mess of a relationship you once had. Until you remember why you broke up in the first place and get angry all over again. This particular ex is not the good kind, this is the one you know was never, is not and will never be good for you. But, when you see that message you feel like typing “hey stranger” back.
Yes, they are back to see if you are still stupid 🤣🤣🤣
You know what will happen the moment you reply to that person. It is better to leave them on read. Thank me later.