What I really think about your advice…

white and blue crew neck t shirt
Photo by Atul Choudhary on Pexels.com

In my thoughts…

Society does this thing where it expects all individuals to have the same experiences. You give examples of so and so who did it like this, and so it must be the same with me. It is impossible for you to even imagine that I may not be like them. I am a unique individual who will not conform to your standards or ideals, especially if they are based on the way “things have always been”. That is very lazy, to follow the same old pattern like sheep, JUST BECAUSE!

It disturbs me that you think you know what is best for me more than I do. You give your opinion as if it is fact, yet you have no idea at all what you are talking about. I can see that you are projecting your own insecurities and failures onto other people. When you speak like this, you don’t realise that you are displaying your fears.

If you were so happy with yourself, you would not be overly worried about how I live my life.

You tell me to use my intelligence and my knowledge to make sound decisions, yet you are showing your lack of the same by stating opinions without facts. How do you claim to know so much about what I need? I listen quietly because I refuse to argue with those who think they know better than everyone. Those who stand on a high horse and feel entitled to pass on advice that is baseless. You confuse my silence for acceptance. I would stand up for myself and explain my own values and beliefs, but I get tired just thinking about it. Maybe my own preconceived notions make me impatient, so in a way, I am not very different from you.

We prejudge without getting to the core of an individual, without a clue about what makes them think and act the way they do. There is always a reason behind how people act. We hide so much of ourselves, I wish we would all remove our masks.

Age is not an indication of maturity. You may have seen a lot and claim that everything that happens has happened before. But, you are not me and I am not you. How about you let me live my life as I see fit? How about you let me be me without trying to control me to suit your narrative?

I will not be boxed in.

I would rather be a square peg in a round hole if it means being unapologetically ME!

5 thoughts on “What I really think about your advice…

  1. Askisi (sorry) for being subjected to this experience. One thing I learned when when I started a tutoring company for high school was this:

    There was 4 of us. We all did well the final year of the subject (matric) but we performed very differently in high school years before matric.
    1. One of us didn’t study,
    2. one of us didn’t have a teacher and decided to teach the class,
    3. one of us was a natural, saw the subject in every aspect of life,
    4. one of us hated the subject and struggled.

    I was shocked that the worst person at the subject had the widest reach. The largest number of students passed the class when she taught. It was insane because this teacher hated the subject so much I always begged her to teach. I think in her struggle, she understood the kids, in her struggle she found a way to make these like minded kids into understand. She refused to teach alone so I had to be present at the back of the class. I watched her and listened. I helped her mark. I still don’t know how her technique worked because she said nothing “special”and her discomfort with the topic was very clear (to me when she facilitated the class). But it worked!

    From this I learned that. The best people, most well equipped, wisest to guide us are never the ones who who stand up first, most confident (in our eyes) and speak the most eloquent .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I always like reading your comments as they are always detailed and well-thought out. Thank you for this example and you are so right, we miss a lot at first glance or if we make judgements without understanding fully. What happened to the tutoring company? Are you guys still in business?
      PS: Hope you’re staying safe in this lockdown and thanks for stopping by.


      1. Pleasure. I enjoy following your blog.

        “…we miss a lot at first glance or if we make judgements without understanding fully. ” True

        When the pupils we taught for 2 years reached matric, the school joined the government tutoring program (the school received recognition for attendance even though the program was not effective) so I closed the company.

        Liked by 1 person

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