I wish I could write about the stuff that is on my mind right now, but I don’t have the right words. How do others do it, I wonder? Do you just have a thought or experience and immediately find the right words to share it with the world? Maybe that’s the problem, I am looking for the right words and maybe there are none. I should just write what I feel, right? and let the feelings become words.
I have more questions than answers right now. I feel like i’m in a valley, i’m not lost though. I am just here, in the valley… waiting.
My mind is swirling with thoughts about people walking away. What makes us walk away? Are we walking towards something else or we just want to get away from the object we’re walking away from? That’s a lot of questions, like I said I have more questions than answers right now.
Joy is such a wonderful feeling. I feel it sometimes, but not everytime. I feel it when I do things that I love. I feel it when someone I love does something special for me, especially the small things. My little niece says I need to smile more, guess she has seen it too. Joy lights up my face and the world seems like it’s not such a bad place after all. I am aware that I need to find my joy again. I haven’t lost it, like I said it’s there on some days. It should not be dependent on external things, I should be able to wake up and just feel it.
I am rambling. It’s getting quieter in my head now. I just wanted to get some of these thoughts out. There are no right words to express how the world is making me feel, there are just words.