Tag: friendships

The Value of Good Friendships

A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

From recent conversations and generally observing the people around me, the value of a good friend has become more illuminated than it has ever been before. Having a good friend, even just one, is a really great blessing. A blessing which can significantly affect your life trajectory.

We often hear people talk about “the company you keep” and how “you are the sum total of the people you spend most of your time with”. I have seen this unfold in my life and those of the people around me. Most people do not invest much time in acquiring and keeping good friendships because we take it for granted. We think the people around us are good enough, but when last did you take stock of your friendships to check:

  • Are you helping each other to become better versions of yourselves?
  • Are you giving each other constructive advice or you spend time talking about other people or engaging in time-wasting activities?
  • Do you see your current friends in your future or you are just taking it one day at a time?
  • Are you being real with each other, or when you get together it is time to show off to each other, instead of building each other up?
  • If you would lose everything you own today, can you count on your current circle of friends to have your back?

If you can truly answer YES to these questions, then I can say you are in good friendships. Very few of us really take the time to evaluate our social interactions and this is dangerous. In 2018 and years before that, I spent a lot of hours with the wrong people who were not adding any value to my life. Only when you find yourself in the company of really good and meaningful individuals, do you start to notice the difference. I do not regret the people who have passed through my life, they also taught me a valuable lesson on friendships. Now, I am more careful who I bring into my circle.

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Happy to say that I have these women in my life

One of my friends said something that stuck with me this weekend. He was talking about ENERGY! and how each one of us gives off a certain vibe or energy which can be described as either positive or negative; life-changing and exciting or destructive energy. He said if you find people that are giving positive, life-giving, inspiring energy then reciprocate that because that is hard to come by. When it is reciprocated, it grows and you feed off each other’s positive energy and it can only get better from there. These are the kind of conversations I am trying to have in 2019.

Me and my close friends are always discussing pushing one boundary after the other. We are constantly challenging each other to do better and be better.  Me and Uche are always hyping each other up, calling each other boss ladies, LOL. It actually works because we put in the work to become what we confess everyday. We all need meaningful interactions, otherwise what are we expending our energy on? This is why it is also OK to outgrow some people and friendships that have reached a dead end. If the energy is off and the friendship has become more draining than useful, then it needs to go.

Wishing you a fruitful week and do take the time to evaluate and make solid friendships that make sense for your current life stage and for your future.

GG

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Can men and women be genuine friends?

I know many people do not believe that a male and a female can be friends. A lot of my friends are male, in fact, most of my closest friends are male and from my side it is purely platonic. All this time I was a firm believer in that a male and female can actually have a fulfilling friendship without the drama that female friends usually bring. But sadly, that illusion has been shattered for me…irreparably considering how I am feeling about it at the moment.

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 photo from http://www.ageofstock.com

I heard so many times that when you are friends with a guy, he obviously has feelings for you (the female). And sometimes you have feelings for each other but you both decide you are better off as friends…which sometimes makes for very good, long lasting friendships. And then there are those who have unrequited feelings (he told you how he felt but you decided you are not attracted to him like that and you offer him your friendship instead). These ones are the hardest to deal with because those feelings will not be going anywhere.

There are lots of different scenarios for the friendship between male and female. But back to my story…I once believed that there could be genuine friendship between males and females. But when you have a friend who is constantly trying to blur the friendship line and constantly trying to cross the line that is no longer a healthy friendship. I am brutally honest usually when I am dealing with people close to me and when I feel like my friendship is being taken for granted I lose it. I don’t like people who pretend or fake friendship. I would much rather have someone who says goodbye to me if being friends with me is going to be problematic than to constantly have a “so called friend” make unwanted moves, especially under the influence of alcohol. Call it liquid courage but I think its plain STUPID.

I don’t know after how many attempts can one call the friendship quits but once, twice, three times…nah son!!That friendship is way too complicated, if anyone needed that drama they would just get into a relationship.

#ENDRANT