Tag: life

Forgive them for they know not what they do~Luke 23:24

Sometimes if we really want people to learn how much their actions affect others, we must be willing to do the hardest thing. We must be willing to forgive the unforgivable, just so that they can learn the true meaning of grace and maybe one day seek it for themselves. The toughest thing is to let them in when it hurts the most, that moment you feel like shutting the door if you leave it open just a little bit…maybe, just maybe they will change.

I never used to have faith in people changing. As the saying goes,

a leopard never changes its spots.

But I find myself feeling compassion for those who have hurt me the most, wanting them to know and find the peace I have found for themselves. Also, realising that I might never benefit from their newness when they change, they might benefit other people and not myself. But I still want them to have it.

Forgiveness is hard but it helps the giver more than it does the receiver. Letting go is healing. It may not feel that way at the time, but with time:

  •  you realise that you are free from bitterness, resentment and pain…
  • you realise their actions do not control you and never had the power to…
  • you realise you can bend but never break…
  • you realise you had kept yourself in a mental prison of which the key was in your hand the whole time…
  • you realise that love is about pain and those who you love will hurt you the most, but you will heal, only if you do not give in to resentment and let go.

I always thought I had the power to get over anything. Physical pain heals faster than emotional pain. But pain is pain and as humans, if we could choose we would choose none of it. Even forgiving people who do not deserve forgiveness is painful. But we still have to do it, not for them but for ourselves.

So with that being said, I forgive you and I choose happiness over sadness.  The tears may come but we smile through them. We carry on living.

GG

Shedding off old skin…

When I began writing this post, I was feeling the changes in my life. I was feeling like a new person but could not really understand what was happening to me. I decided to leave the post as a draft, and now  months later; I came back to it. I think I understand the process of transformation that I went through the last few months and I am glad that I did not write about it prematurely, with limited understanding.

A few months ago, I CHANGED. And I am happy to say that these changes have been for the better. 2018 has truly been the year of transformation for me.  At first, I thought the change was temporary or fleeting and I would go back to the old me in no time…you know what we do at the beginning of each year with our “new year, new me goals”? I thought that was what I was going through at the time and didn’t think it would last.

I was loving myself; I was less tolerant of those who loved me wrong; I was restless because I knew I wanted more out of my life than what I had at that time. I could just feel change in the air and truly it came. I also thought maybe I was just aging and that is why I was starting to have a different perspective. But I soon got over that notion because…

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As I reflected, I realized that I have gone through so many changes in my life. These changes include physical changes e.g. changing my address twice in two years (country to country); changing responsibilities (childhood and dependency to  adulthood) and various career changes. However, the most difficult of my life changes have been changes in my personality, changes from childish behavior to maturity and changes in my spirituality. The 3rd decade of my life has been full of those changes and I resisted all of them at first.

What a joy it is to finally be comfortable in my transformation.

  • Accepting that I am a 30 something year old woman, who has gone through pain and disappointment but is still standing…
  • Thanking God for having lived to know that joy and happiness are attainable…
  • To finally say that my experiences have been lessons and actually mean it…
  • To not look at my past with pain, but with understanding of the kind of immaturity that may have brought some moments of displeasure
  •  Forgiving and moving on. This is so liberating.
I have realized, with great pleasure, that not all change is bad. With time it all makes sense.  The wonders of a life of reflection…
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GG

L.O.V.E

This post is inspired by the month of love…February and the following post by my fellow blogger »»Veracious Poet Is love truly blind?

Love has been a source of more pain than joy to me in the last few years.  But it is not LOVE that has brought me more pain than joy.

I now know that the people who do not know LOVE cause all the pain that is in the world today. It is people who do not understand what LOVE stands for, who are the problem, not love itself.  There is nothing wrong with love, but our understanding of the concept is flawed.

Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up and its faith, hope, patience never fail. 1 Corinthians 13 vs 4-7.

As a Christian, this is the definition of love I should know and apply.  As I grow older, I learn about LOVE more and more. I realize my own selfish needs, my own pride and how I have handled my past relationships with other people. I take full responsibility for own failed relationships and vow to learn to love the right way. I forgive people who have deliberately loved me the wrong way and boldly state that they didn’t know any better. I didn’t know any better.

As I let go of all the bad thoughts and negativity brought on by thinking the wrong way, I want to encourage someone to open their heart to someone today. I am not encouraging you to fall into a trap or love someone who does not love you. The right kind of love shows itself, it cannot hide and it does not hide. When it is real, you just know. There is just too much pretense in the world it is tiring.

If you can love others the way you love yourself, then you will figure out the real way to love. Would you want to hurt yourself? Would you want to lie to yourself? No!! So it starts with how we love ourselves and only then can we truly love others.

 

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image from Bitmoji

 

Happy month of LOVE…

GG

Exploring Mindfulness

I recently stumbled across my consciousness; not that it ever went anywhere, but I came face to face with it for the first time as an adult.  All I can say is WOW!! I wonder, how have I been living all this while??? Since I started tapping into my spiritual being, for that is what she is, I am in awe of the power and peace I have living inside me. And it has been in there all this while…

We are too busy, we cannot even stop to smell the roses or be fully present in the moment. We are always in a hurry to do this and that. One day I found myself really stopping and listening…I looked within…I spoke to the inner being…my consciousness, and I feel rejuvenated. And the funny thing is, I think it all happened by accident. I was in my feelings about something, I was doing what I do best…overthinking…and it just HAPPENED. I think it was the right time and I welcomed it.  Now I am practicing it.

When you practice stillness and mindfulness, nothing just happens to you. You are aware of every emotion; good or bad. You reflect on moments; pleasant or otherwise. You realize you are ALIVE, for a reason, not just EXISTING. You experience LIFE for what it is.

 

mindfulness
Image from Google

 

Since my discovery of my spiritual being, I have changed my mindset. I worry less and I take care of my mind and body more. Gone are the days of mindless scrolling on social media, looking at people I don’t even talk to, living their fake or not so fake lives. Point is, it no longer matters to me. I now evaluate what goes into my mind, because I understand now more than ever, that what I feed into it, becomes ME. I would rather listen to a motivational podcast when I have my morning coffee than follow social media gossip or text someone whose conversation I do not enjoy, just because it is polite to do so.  There has been a shift.

I have found myself, in the sense that, I am now fully aware of what I want and what I don’t want. Guess I can say I have finally matured…

So, if you notice a slight difference in me, this is why. I am WOKE….finally!!!

 

Life’s highs and lows…

No one can claim to have a perfect life. Even in a very good month, there will be some moments when you look at your life and wonder why it is handing you such bitter lemons. Truth is, we cannot have the highs without the lows…

image from Pinterest.com

I am learning to take my highs with the lows that accompany them. I recently had to remind myself that a bad day does not equal a bad life. I was having such a bad week and thought my life was just miserable. Took a couple of losses in that week; material, academic and some emotional. I really felt miserable and at that moment, I didn’t see how I could be happy again.

But here I am now…it’s a brand new day. My life is still imperfect, but as I write and reflect; I accept that life has seasons of highs and lows. Just by acknowledging that I feel so much better. I don’t have it all figured out but here is what I know:

  • I know that today is different from yesterday.
  • I know that what I tell myself is what will determine how my day turns out.
  • I know that what I feed my mind has the ability to shift my mood, so I will choose wisely what I read or listen to.
  • I know I have to take control of my day and in a small way, my life.

Sometimes that is all we can do…live one day at a time. But LIVE!!!

I hope this encourages someone today.

image from Pinterest.com

 

With Love

GG

Of life, death and meaning…

Image credit: http://www.marilynboylegriefcoach.com/holidays-grief-free-call/

 

There is no real substance
Substance and emptiness cannot co-exist, Or can they?
The sense of constant loss remains
And I ask, why do I keep losing?
When will I also gain?

A friend sent me a poem
Written from the heart
It was beautiful, I wanted it to heal me
But I realized I cannot heal before I allow myself to feel
Feel the pain, the emotion, the grief
But when it hurts too much, we…or more appropriately “I” tend to choose to avoid
Allowing myself to feel is to open myself to vulnerability
Another friend asked me, what if there is a strength in being vulnerable? 

Asked me to consider that…I replied that I would try, 

What I write is my expression of that vulnerability 

Grief is a new concept for me
But I know what it is like to lose
Lose that which you held dear
It hurts each time and they say it gets better with time
You stay open and hopeful
And you try again, to live a life of substance, although knowing you can lose what you hold dear at any moment. We have no control! All we have left are memories!

 RIP DAD!!!

 

Child, what is it that you seek?

meaning

 

I realise I have been searching for something…I don’t know what exactly.
I have probably been searching for it my whole life. I just know it…
It’s a feeling I get, that something is missing. A gap, a hole…that needs filling.

You feel lonely in a room full of people, you feel misunderstood because everyone you meet just can’t seem to fill the hole, the space. It just seems to grow bigger each time.
There are times when you meet someone who makes an honest attempt to complete your existence. You acknowledge their effort and hope that the feeling of nothingness will go away…
But it remains…
Maybe, just maybe…you begin to realise that you are the only one who can make you feel whole.
The search will go on forever if you are not complete on your own before attempting to interact on a deeper level with another.
It’s a tough job to try a complete a human being, you would have to know completely what made the hole appear in their life. It is a mammoth task.

The search for meaning? The search for fulfillment? The search for purpose?
As long as I or you are searching, depending on whether we look in the right place…which is not in the world or within others…but within ourselves
Maybe, just maybe…we can both find what we are searching for.

Just don’t drive yourself crazy in the process #notetoself

 Reflections