Tag: self-love

21 questions to the girl in the mirror

 

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Alicia Keys make-up free and still beautiful

 

What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror? Do you see the person everyone wants you to become? Is the person looking back at you someone who breathes validation and affirmation?

Who do you really see? The image of the person you always dreamt you would become? Do you see broken dreams, broken hearts and failed plans?

Who do you see looking back at you? Are you defined by your past mistakes and failures? Are you defined by the abuse and the trauma you endured at some point? Do you see a victim or a victor?

Are you even real or you wear a mask even for yourself? Do you really see yourself as you were created to be? Or you are too scared to dare even a glimpse into your own soul?

Who are you? Do you even know? Do you need someone else to tell you who you are? Society is ever ready to do that. Have you ever taken a selfie on Instagram and wait for likes, then head back to the mirror and look at the real you? Not the one with the pasted smile that you just posted…the real unfiltered version of you?

When are we going to be comfortable in our own skins? I say “we” because I am not immune. We are too scared to be the truest version of ourselves, scared “they” will not accept us for who are, as we are.

They say no one will ever truly love you until you know how to love yourself. How can you love someone you don’t know? Do you know yourself enough to love yourself?

Do you know the answers to any of these questions? I am working on mine.

Ella Mai~Naked

#MyAfricaMyWords

Day 18 Blogtember Challenge

L.O.V.E

This post is inspired by the month of love…February and the following post by my fellow blogger »»Veracious Poet Is love truly blind?

Love has been a source of more pain than joy to me in the last few years.  But it is not LOVE that has brought me more pain than joy.

I now know that the people who do not know LOVE cause all the pain that is in the world today. It is people who do not understand what LOVE stands for, who are the problem, not love itself.  There is nothing wrong with love, but our understanding of the concept is flawed.

Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up and its faith, hope, patience never fail. 1 Corinthians 13 vs 4-7.

As a Christian, this is the definition of love I should know and apply.  As I grow older, I learn about LOVE more and more. I realize my own selfish needs, my own pride and how I have handled my past relationships with other people. I take full responsibility for own failed relationships and vow to learn to love the right way. I forgive people who have deliberately loved me the wrong way and boldly state that they didn’t know any better. I didn’t know any better.

As I let go of all the bad thoughts and negativity brought on by thinking the wrong way, I want to encourage someone to open their heart to someone today. I am not encouraging you to fall into a trap or love someone who does not love you. The right kind of love shows itself, it cannot hide and it does not hide. When it is real, you just know. There is just too much pretense in the world it is tiring.

If you can love others the way you love yourself, then you will figure out the real way to love. Would you want to hurt yourself? Would you want to lie to yourself? No!! So it starts with how we love ourselves and only then can we truly love others.

 

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image from Bitmoji

 

Happy month of LOVE…

GG

Why I fall in love with myself everyday…

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Early morn reflections…

It’s not often that we take the time to fall in love with ourselves. We are so caught up in loving others and often neglect ourselves. As I was enjoying a cup of coffee yesterday it suddenly dawned on me that I do love myself and I fall deeper and deeper in love with ME every day. In the spirit of Women’s Month, I have decided to embrace my womanhood with a dedication to myself (I don’t need an excuse really…).

One of my closest friends recently described me as “phenomenal” (swoon) and I decided to write up some of the things that help to mould me into the woman I am and why I fall in love with myself everyday:

#I am extremely unapologetic about who I am

What you see is what you get!! I do not make apologies for who I am, how I look, how I talk or dress!! Fortunately or unfortunately, its either you like me or you don’t. I have found there is no grey area there. If you are one of those people still trying to decide how you feel about me, I hope this article helps.

#I accept that I am crazy

This may be an understatement but since I am the one writing this, please allow. I have my moments of utter madness and silliness and I love that about myself (I think everyone does, but it happens to some more often and in different degrees). If you have never seen this side of me you are in luck. On the flipside, you might be missing out because that means you only get to see my serious side, which can be quite intimidating.  I have been told I cannot dance, but I dance anyway. I accept and love myself, flaws and all!!!

#I constantly forgive myself

Living with guilt erodes the spirit. I have made many mistakes in my adult life and I cannot say I am done messing up, but I have learnt to let go of the guilt or bad feelings that come with that. I have hurt some people and I am not proud of that. I have a fiery temper that gets me into trouble more times than is necessary, I am a work in progress!! Although I hope those that I hurt have forgiven me; I am not worried because between me and God, all is well in my soul. Self-loathing is a powerful thing and it keeps us from loving ourselves. I have learnt to forgive myself constantly, no matter how bad it gets.

#I dream big and I chase those dreams like a madman

I am very ambitious and nothing can stop me once I put my mind to something. This has led me to cross boundaries and challenge norms. I don’t hear NO and I don’t accept failure. I love this about myself because I would not be where I am without the drive that moves me and helps me get out of bed in the morning. Success does not come from sitting idly waiting for opportunities to come by. I look for opportunities and with my God by my side, I have done many things. I believe there is still more to be explored…watch this space!!

#I embrace that I am a 30 year old, unmarried woman with no kids

Contrary to popular belief in Zimbabwean culture, this does not make me less than “normal” or make me love myself any less. I embrace this stage of my life and my perception is that it is time to work on myself whilst I wait for future hubby. I do not succumb to the pressure to get married because I am not one for conformity, plus where is the eager hubby? I will get married (I promise) if and when I am ready, not because “everyone else my age is already married or at least have a child”. It is amazing how many times attempts have been made to make me feel less loveable than I am just because I am not yet married. In the small town where I am currently some have even added that “no one wants to marry an educated woman”. I mean *insert side eye*…in 2016?

#I take time to reflect on myself

Some people are scared to be alone with their thoughts. I am not. I love the fact that I can be alone as this is when I shut everything out and reflect on my actions, words and ponder on where I am going. This has helped me to assess where I go wrong and what I would not want to repeat in future. Everyday is a new opportunity to begin again and what I did or how I thought yesterday may be used in a positive way. My moments of reflection shape my confidence in my abilities and increases my self-love.

Last but not least…

#My relationship with God

God is love and he is my Father. I have not known a greater love than this. Once you know God, you cannot help but love yourself the way Father loves you!!!

Have you learnt to love yourself? Because no one else will love you if you don’t!!