Tag: thoughts

Boulevard of broken dreams

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone
~Green Day-Boulevard of broken dreams

There is this space filled with dreams that have never materialised, dashed hopes, unmet needs, unlived moments. The space filled with a lot of unfinished business and a lot of unspoken words. I am walking on this pavement that feels like my feet are stepping on broken glass, every step filled with regret. My heart heavy, my head full of shouting voices which refuse to shut up.

adult alone backlit dark
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Have you ever met someone and felt like your whole world was going to burst into flames and be consumed to nothing if you don’t get to say hello? Sounds like an acute case of infatuation or something I cannot describe. I wouldn’t know about it because I am usually the level-headed one. I don’t believe in love at first sight or even the idea of falling in love. I believe in well-thought out actions, but emotions such as the one described above do not and should not make any sense.  And they demand to be felt.

I digress…

I am still on the boulevard of broken dreams. The path of nothingness, no joy or excitement, same thing everyday that I am sick to my stomach. What happened to dreams of laughter and conversations underneath the stars. They were just that, DREAMS. Why do we crave what we see in dreams? Who has ever actually found proof that dreams come true? I am of the opinion that the only dreams that actually come true are those we work on. They don’t come just by us wishing they would. So, why do we spend countless hours daydreaming, focusing our minds on the things we wish for and sometimes knowing that they will never happen–still we carry on dreaming. It is like an escape, a fantasy.

I want some reality for a change. I want to feel real emotions, I want to experience real things. I want to go on that trip to that amazing island, I want to stop dreaming about it. What stops us from living the DREAM? What stops us from facing the one who makes our hearts flutter and throwing all caution to the wind. Why do we prefer to be more courageous in our heads than we are in real life? I am having the kind of dreams that will totally consume me if I do not get to live them. I can already feel myself in my dreams and they feel so real.

woman wearing white collared top and beige hat behind of blue cyclone fence
Photo by Marcelo Moreira on Pexels.com

As for my dreams, I think at this rate, they can only come to life through prayer and fasting.

Life is too short, what is stopping you from living the DREAM?


Wisdom from a 30 year old…

Coming of age has a certain kind of wisdom that it brings. Call it experience or as the say in Shona “Kurauone”, translated “Grow up and See”. Literally, growing up, seeing and analysing the world I live in has taught me a thing or two…maybe a hundred.

I feel so old but I am just 30 years old. This is because of the never ending experiences of life that I have encountered. My mind is not just full of experiences, I am taking lessons from those experiences, good or bad.

One thing that has stuck to my mind all day and prompted this blog post is my most recent stroke of wisdom. I recently discovered that I despise wealth that comes without happiness. It is actually true that money does not buy happiness or love. This led me to conclude that I would rather be in a pauper’s house where there is love and happiness than be in a mansion where there is neither. I would rather laugh my lungs out after a $1 meal with people that I love around me than to be alone in a big house, surrounded by walls and silence. This might sound crazy because we all know the comforts that money can bring. We all want those comforts, the nice cars, the nice houses and the cash. But the ingredients of a happy soul are not made out of material things. Happiness, I have learnt comes from being happy with what you have and loving the people that love you and even those who don’t and this comes from forgiveness. When we don’t forgive, we let bitterness fester in our hearts and we cannot be happy from the inside. Loving ourselves as we are and not caring about what society thinks about us…these are the ingredients of happiness. Not the big empty house…no one wants to come home to that.

Am I happy at this present moment? DOUBLE YEAH!!! Because I love myself and the life I have been blessed with.

If you are reading this, I hope you can count at least three things that made you happy today. If not, try to do better tomorrow.